~*`My Devotion`*~ [entries|friends|calendar]

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myspace really is hell [17 Apr 2007|10:09pm]
it takes away from here... and i need to stay on here more...
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Year-zero [16 Feb 2007|09:20pm]
April 17th, Year-zero, Trent Reznors new CD will be out.

i say it like that because 90% of the CD was made in hotel rooms on his laptop while on the With Teeth tour.

cant wait, though i know no one else on here cares :P
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Trans Siberian Orchestra KICKED ASS [19 Dec 2006|01:05am]
[ mood | enthralled ]

Yeah, front row center was awesome enough... but having the attention of the band was fucking awesome. It aint my fault my boobs are big.. heh xD.

Fucking AMAZING show. Jon Anderson of YES sang Roundabout with TSO and it was just fucking awesome.

I flashed the stage crew and who knows how many other people after the concert to get the used drumstick (and it was beat to hell, thats a hand print worn into it and it is broken)

After the concert there was a autograph signing thinga-ma-jig. One thing out to sign, Dave had the program, so I was like "wtf do i have?... MY PURSE!" heehee..

..As for the guitar picks.. I caught the red one and got one of the two green ones from Chris Caffery himself, the white one used by Paul O'Neill, two purple Alex Skolnick picks (hehe purple :D) and the two charcoal ones from David Z. (who, I might add, was the first one earlier in the night to notice me, so when I got to him at the end of the signing he was like "HEY!" and I was like "HEY!"...it was funny)..

Chris liked Daves glasses (EVERYONE liked Daves glasses xP), James Lewis tried to keep me for a while, asked how I liked the show, wished me happy holidays and desperately shook my hand (hehe), Steve Broderick kept smiling at me and dropped his sharpie a couple times, Mark Wood, ZEE STRING MASTAH, loved my hair (HEEHEE)..

..When we got to Peter Shaw he was like, "OK OK, what's your name?"..."Shereen?... hey, her name's Shereen!.." *chorus of male band members* "OHHH Shereen!" hilarious...

i loved the whole night... and I wont get into the amazing sex that ensued when we got home.. which was amazing... fucking amazing. really. OH GOD WAS IT AMAZING. ok, im done... amazing..

To My Love,
Thank you soooo much for this amazing night. You make me so incredibly happy. You do more than I could ever ask for, I only hope I show you as much love in return. I love you Dave, I'm forever yours, if you'll keep me.You're a m a z i n g hun.

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OMG TSO WTFBBQ [17 Dec 2006|01:06pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

more later

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workin in the mornin'... [09 Dec 2006|03:23pm]
[ mood | awake ]

It's Saturday morning, and I'm at work. Boo.

I'm thinking about calling my dad, but I don't know if he's awake and I don't want to wake him if he's asleep...

Since I'll be putting the $1000 in the bank today along with my check for this week, that will put me WELL above $700... CURSE IS OVAH

I'm this <-----> close to buying crazy shit for people for christmas... be warned.

This christmas is looking awesome, literally. I haven't been in a house that was this festive during the holidays since I was about 8 years old. It makes me so happy.

(>^-^)> <(^-^)> <(^-^<) <(^-^)> (>^-^)>

welp, I've been sitting here for about 30 minutes thinking about calling my dad, so I think I will, especially now that it's a little later.

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from myspace.. to here.. because you all matter [29 Nov 2006|06:50pm]
[ mood | content ]

Nelville died -_-... Lucille kept him in her car for 5 hours.. he held on long enough to die in my hand.

The car I bought is a piece of shit *sings "Piece of Shit Car"* engine is dead and I basically got fucked outta $800. All that's left to do is try to sell it to a junk yard for parts. Well.. atleast maybe I could get a couple dollars for the radio..

I gotta go to court December 6th at 9am about the Camaro crash.. $85 out there too.. whoop-di-fuckin-do.

On a lighter note, started my hair.. right now the front is purple with a tiny bit of blue.. hope to have the rest done this weekend.

My thumb hurts from playing around with christmas lights this morning.. taking out some bulbs and putting them back.. I didn't even do that many.. I just think my body wants to hurt and hate me.

Dave and I decorated the front of his house today.. with my luck, since I put the stakes in the ground for the snowman family, it'll all blow away.. hah..

On topic of decorating, most of the decorations I put up at work yesterday were moved around by Peg.. so a couple hours work was ridiculed and shit on.. big whoop

I've exercised 3 days straight (you know.. besides sex..) and I've lost 5 more pounds.. wooo

I was thinking about calling my dad.. I talked to him on Thanksgiving (ABOUT TIME RIGHT?).. but not for long.. and I should keep in contact more with him..

Moving on..
I got to cheer myself up by wrapping presents. I like to wrap presents. I'm an idiot.. If you want something for Christmas.. let me know. You probably wont get it (unless I.. you know.. like you) but you will get something.. send me your address in a message.

TRANS SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA DECEMBER 16TH BIZNATCH!!.. Front and center.. I can't fucking wait...

And i guess ill close this with.. It's almost 7pm and I'm going out of my mind waiting for it to be 7:30.. I get to close.. yeah.. but I also get to be back in Daves arms.. yeah.. I know.. cheesy ^_^;;.. but it's the truth.. he's what I live for, he means everything to me.. so MEH.. I love you Dave :3

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still.. [23 Nov 2006|01:11am]
in love :3
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LIZ *waves hands around* [17 Oct 2006|05:07am]
get a load of this


get on AIM when you see this
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HOOPLA.. car drama. [10 Oct 2006|09:16pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

This and This are what im looking at now... and as told to Talitha..

Me: i think im gonna get a $12,000 loan co-signed by lucille, buy a $10,000 Camaro or Trans Am, pay off my car insurance for a year (the extra $2,000) and then use the $4,000 i get from the insurance company to start paying off the loan
Talitha: Wow.
Me: while im using the 4,000 i can save up more to use to pay off the loan and pay it off in either less or a little more than 2 years

ive been thinking about this for about a week, and i think its very possible.
this concludes my car update for you all.. next will be something more interesting. i promise.

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yeeah.. [28 Sep 2006|10:56pm]
i Y dave

that is all
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the History Channel is bad for me [26 Sep 2006|01:01am]
[ mood | loved ]

...this is why I try not to turn on the TV. I wanted to go to bed about 2 hours ago, but no. I turned on the History Channel, and I am screwed. oOoOoOoOo the shows' about the ancient pagans and Stonehendge.. GAH, why does this stuff interest me so much?

recent news.

I'm now looking for places to stay. I'm not worried. I have good friends. Lucille came to me today and told me that Degge is really taking me living here badly. I understand. I feel no hate toward Lucille. Shes been crying a lot because she never wanted it to come to this. She thought I was going to have to be out by the weekend. Thats not a lot of time. BUT later in the night before I came home I was told I dont need to rush now. This makes me feel better.. even though I wasnt worried at all. Is that bad? She was telling me all this at work and crying, and I was just sitting there, nodding. I knew it was going to happen. I was going to move out as soon as I could anyway. Shouldnt I be worried? Yeah. Am I worried... no, and it's confusing to me. Especially since I'm getting my period soon. I should be freaking out, but this doesnt phase me. Small things I shouldn't worry about phase me. Not being removed from my home of the past few years. I'm a fucked up, paranoid person.

My life is changing so fast. I never thought this would all happen. Im happy, dont get me wrong. Its just.. wow. I thought I would have to settle. I thought I owed it to people to stay in a relationship I wasnt happy in. Then all of a sudden.. an amazing guy takes interest in me. ME? I still think someones playing a cruel joke on me. When you've lived in hell for so long.. you tend to be paranoid about heavan. You're saving my life Dave.. whether you know it or not. You mean the world to me. I'll love you forever.

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Myspace to LJ blog... new car time... [20 Sep 2006|12:58am]
*backdate this shiznit*

Thursday, September 14th was my first accident.

yeah.. "the damages are more than the cars worth. your insurance company will tell you whats gonna happen now depending on your coverage."

well, full coverage, but im assuming that ill be getting something to get a new car with.. and in that case, after i got home from work i was notified of 3 possible cars for $1000 to $3000 dollars.. one being a camaro.. but im not sure of the details yet. im not worried either way. im just crushed. i loved that car. maybe its for the better though. i mean, degge got it for me.. and im not with him anymore. maybe its a weird sign of closure from the gods.

*.::relationship update::.*
DAVE REMAINS AWESOME (and i know your gonna read this eventually and i know your gonna be like "im not awesome" but grr on you) i love being with him (gonna be with him tonight as a matter of fact). im always happy when im with him.. and that seems to be the only time im happy now.. *thought jump* whenever im at home i have to deal with degges mother sending me through a guilt trip constantly and giving off the vibe that shes trying to get degge and i back together.. why would i want to go back to someone who even as a friend treats me like crap. no, not happening. im happy now and i plan on staying like this forever. its nice not being third on a list after computers and cars.. or speakers, and its nice to be respected and not taken for granted. im sorry for nothing at this point. i was sick of being an object.

so yeah, at this point all you need to know about my car accident is that the whole front of my car was in the side of a dirt hill and the right wheel got jammed so far in the suspension is all fucked... it really doesnt even look that bad.. but it is. *sad* oh, and i hit a woman, she flew 10 ft in the air and got up. didnt want to press charges.. "jesus saved her".. a woman that comes into the gym said i get 10pts.. not many people hit PEOPLE in their lives.
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graah [19 Aug 2006|01:25am]
[ mood | tired ]

im burnt out, i dug a hole and crawled under my car to change my oil.. it worked very well.. i did it all by myself.. i feel special.

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somewhere.. beyond the sea.. somewhere [04 Aug 2006|02:22am]
i told everyone i was going to sleep.. and i am.. i just wanted to type a bit more while half asleep.. thats usually when i ramble on and things get interesting.

i dont really think there will be too much interesting going on.. but eh. the other night i was talking with a friend and i got to thinking. mostly thinking about how i feel about different aspects of my life. what im happy with.. what i hate. well, maybe not hate, maybe more like strongly dislike and would like different. ill tell ya one thing.. i wish i would get my knack for the written.. or typed, word. its been 3 years since ive written anything new. i remember when i could fill a whole book with my thoughts.. now i draw blanks. i never had to try before. it just all came. now.... barron.... and then that brought me back to thinking about the areas of my life that have grown barron. have you ever had something for so long.. hah, kinda like a poster on your wall.. it blends in with your life so much you dont really relize its there anymore?(i forgot i had a Van Hellsing poster on the back of my door..) well, i feel like thats how certain things are going in my life. i used to be an honors.. i guess you would say, world cultures student. now if someone asks me where prague is i draw a blank. i used to be able to create some pretty decend works of art... now when i grab a pencil all i can draw are eyes. yeah.. eyes. maybe im trying to tell myself something subconsciencely.. science.. i was always the one who could take the test without even reading a months worth of chapters and pass with an A-... now, well atleast i still know what tectonic plates are.. worlds ending. but thats something else intirely.. or is it.. do you think you can feel something coming that it affects your day to day life in ways you could never expect?

i cried lastnight and i didnt know why. nothing in my head made any sense to me, i would laugh and cry.. get mad.. but cry.. and it still pisses me off that i completely dont understand why i had these weird.. spells. last time something like that happened i was in folcroft and i wrote all through the night and filled books with.. well you get the point. now, this time.. nothing. all i could do is go over again and again in my head, different lyrics to songs, others creative outlets. other poems.
i feel like im in a sense drained.
or maybe i was never filled up...competely charged.
got my wires crossed installing a new battery a couple years ago, now i think theres a short. got a new battery.. that didnt fix it. stick with the old battery.. i worked for a bit longer. then i would randomly stall. just shut off in traffic... are my wires worn? no. the wires are fine. a bit aged, but all in working order. cruse around putting off what you know you need to fix. speed bump. whats that clicking sound? the engines shaking? what? i didnt know the alternator did that much. supplys electricity to all the working parts. headlights, air, radio. the battery will drain if the alternator isnt in working order... i changed my alternator today in my car. my cars fine now. but this isnt about my car.

somethings off in me. i need to find my alternator. right now im draining the life out of my relationship. if it goes on much longer itll stall. ill sort it all out.. maybe i need a jumpstart.. recharge. i think this battery can still hold a charge, maybe i just need a new car. vroom vroom.. find my voice?
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Friday sucked [29 Jul 2006|04:58am]
Friday sucked
Current mood: amused

first off i had to wake up at 6am to open the gym... so when i got home around 1:30 i tried to actually go back to sleep because ive been so worn out lately. well guess what, didnt work. couldnt sleep. i was tired, but my fucking body wouldnt go to sleep. so then i wander around the house for a bit.. degges father got home yesterday (he goes away for weeks at a time, fixing problems for the government...) and we three sat and talked for about an hour. so then they went off to return a rental car and play games.. i went back to my bed area... still couldnt fall asleep, and at this point i was really pissed. fucking tired as all hell but my body, and my mind for that matter, were set on overdrive.

well iunno when exactly i got changed and got into my car, or how i even drove to the fucking mall, but i did. it was probably around 4:30 or something. cool thing about Fridays at the mall, theres always a chance of seeing Paul (yes, yes, i know, your DVD, im sorry, but you shouldnt have gone to Wildwood with everyone :P) well, i did see Paul, then Leon and company kidnapped him.

well then, it was, what, fucking.. 5:45?! i cant fucking remember. played DDR, almost fell asleep on the change machine, but nooo. i woulda taken standing sleep... so yeah, i see people i know through the night, mostly hang out with john, and play a shit load of pin-ball. 9 o'clock rolls around.

9 O'FUCKING CLOCK and now at this point everyone thought i was on drugs or something, i was tired as all hell, but knowing i wouldnt be able to fall asleep if i went home anyway, i kept finding stuff to do, and found that i can do some interesting things when im half asleep. one buck bought me 13 free games of pinball, 6 on the Southpark machine and 7 on the LOTR machine, im a pinball mastah aparently. on DDR i somehow got 2 A's (not one AA) on Bag because since i was tired i picked it twice ::grumble::, i got a B on Max 300 without being a bar whore, passed So Deep, Insertion... and Gentle Stress...(wow i didnt realize those songs sounded so dirty till i put em together..) and got through Legend of Max and fucked up right at the end.. (yeah Paul, you missed some interesting shit, everyone was poor lastnight so the machine was mine and all these little emos and goth-tards were acting like they were watching a movie while sitting in front of the frog machine..)

after all the owning, i ended up at the book store, found a weapon book and a book of egypt on sale.. blew cash on those, why? BECAUSE I FUCKING WANTED TO, besides i didnt spend over $10, so meh. from there johnnny arcade and i went and sat where the awesome pretzel stand used to be... thats when i kinda died... and i started what i guess you could call panic attacks... first i saw this guy who looked EXACTLY like this one dude my dad, well, isnt friends with, all through the night. john kept laughing at me, but i was actually scared.

"well, Shere--"
"-- youre in the mall, a public place, hes not going to kill you here"
"john, i know, but he might follow me to my car, if he doesnt already know which car is mine, follow me home.. no wait, why would he do that? FUCK, hes gonna run me off the road on my way home..."
"-- ill walk you to your car, then you go home and go to sleep."

so we got up and started walking the opposite direction of the man, john walked toward JC Penny, so then when i figured out we were actually going to walk through there, i started walking kinda quickly... then slowly because john was bitching. fortuantly the guy didnt follow us, i know, i kept checking. then when i got to my car john made fun and checked for a car bomb, then i told him we wouldnt be compleatly sure till i started my car and made him stand there. eh. no kaboom. so he hopped in and i drove him to his car and parked next to him... but of course he had to be over kinda near "the wall" and all the goth-tards wanted me to drive them home.

at this point it was a little after 10. so john gets out and leaves and as im about to leave i get a call on mah cell phone. it was my dad.
"i had a bad feeling and i figured id call you"
...i almost laughed my ass off.
"dad, did you put a hit out on me, because this guy was "following" me all night and then you call because you had a bad feeling? i think you called to see if i was still alive"
...we both laughed. we talked for a bit, he might send me money for my alternator after i sounded kinda pissed . woo.

so then i drive home, listening to the same song over and over because i didnt realize MY AWESOME SUPER COOL SOUND SYSTEM was on repeat till the 4th time the song played. yeah, im using a CD player with speakers. go fuck yourself.

got home. got on AIM. realized i didnt eat all night. made food. watched Frasier. fell asleep at 1:10am. woke up at 7am. opened gym. exercised. got on internet. typed up my night to kill time. realize that maybe it didnt suck that much after all. i mean, hell, i did get paid yesterday.
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well, that was an interesting day [26 Jul 2006|02:11pm]
[ mood | okay ]

the 24th was all weird. good, but weird. came outta no where type day. HAHA.. well..
eh, ill just say, work didnt suck, which it most certainly always does, so that was a plus.

ok, to today. FUCKING WHAT THE FUCK!?!? i get into work and i get news that my "boss" didnt like the fax i sent him the other day about how i fixed the computer "i sounded like i knew more than him about the computer" ::stands shocked, feeling like the only sane person in the world anymore:: well... I DO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE COMPUTER, HES A FUCKING 70 YEAR OLD ASSHOLE WHO ONLY THINKS HE KNOWS SHIT. yeah, needless to say, i was pissed. now i have to deal with them coming in god knows when and talking to me about my professionalism(them being the two owners, assface and his wife who isnt too bad but are both old fucks)well fuck, they should have seen the first copy of the fax..lotta cursing. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DELETE SYSTEM FILES IF YOU DIDNT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE FOR".. and stuff of the like. sheesh.

"they wanna address you in ways to better communicate with your boss, since this is your first job"...WOAH WOAH WOAH WAIT. this is NOT my first job. ive had about 3 others, just not since ive moved to NJ, one of the other guys i worked for is dead, one in prison, and the other still runs the water ice store, but i KNEW none of them would want to be put for references. and no, i didnt get paid under the table for all three, so in the eyes of the government ive had at least ONE other job. point is, i fucking know how to talk to my boss, and in the case of these two, you lie your ass off and try to either seem like a christian goodie goodie, or act helpless and stupid. well, i cant act stupid when im pissed, so i resort to the christian goodie goodie act, which i cant fucking stand. im gonna start looking for other, better paying jobs and then one day when they "have a sit down with me" ask them if they think they can keep this place going if the computer doesnt work (which i know theyll say no to because EVERYTHING is on the computer and theyd be fucked without it.) go into how if i wasnt here the computer wouldnt work anymore because Jack has fucked up so much shit that ive covered up, and then ask them "if you want, ill leave, i wont disrespect you anymore with my mean 'ole faxes and ill be outta your hair, besides i have 8 bucks an hour lined up being a manager at _____". thatll end it one way or another. fucking assholes.

another bit of fun news, car related, i have a feeling my alternator is fucked up. i bought a new battery about a month ago now and while my problem seemed fixed, he started acting up about a week after getting the battery. honestly, i needed the new battery, but it wasnt the main problem and so far from what i can gather from people, the alternator is the other reasonable explanation.. thatll be another $80 for the part and then, hopefully, either i can change it myself.. or maybe give rich $20 and meatloaf (:D please rich?)...i dont wanna have to pay $500 for a garage to do 10 minutes of work, and from all the guides ive read.. its about 10 minutes of work. and no, its not about time to get a different car. ive had about 4 or 5 people say this to me. first off, the car was a gift, so i didnt have to buy it, and so far ive only put about $500 bucks into it, and i aint stopping now. im keeping this car forever, when i get my trust fund im getting a new engine and redoing shit. i aint getting a piece of shit car because people are worried. when i put another $1000 into it itll be like i bought it, and itll be working fine till the engines redone.
sod off.

well, ive been ranting for about an hour now, and no one still has come in,and now im being killed with bad singing from lucille... good she left.. maybe i should wrap this up...

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death by pasta [25 Jun 2006|05:37pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

you heard me right. our dog almost got killed my a pot of pasta falling off the stove.. fortunately she has good reflexes and was wide awake.

ive been kinda tied up in work lately and havent gotten the chance to go to philly, sorry josh and liz ;__;. ill try to make it next week.


and um.. pie.
thats about it.


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I CAN DRIVE [22 May 2006|01:06am]
[ mood | amused ]

well ive been able to drive for years now, but not legally.


tuesday i got my license, with a fine picture i might add. sad that i was more worried about my picture than the test. went to work and later that night went to a diner and an awesome area with kate and talitha. it was dark. i kept hearing things. "if anyone grabs you, scream" ::reluctant:: "...well what if someone has a gun or a knife?! then what?! im strong, i know i can fuck someone up if i get grabbed, but if i get knifed im fucked." ::gets car key ready like it would even help::...::sees a park and swings::.. yeah, that was a fun night.

uuh.. went to see my dad and uncle the other day. ended up seeing 2 of my uncles. my uncle chuckie just bought a 1930's hot rod and a brand new Harley, and im his favorite.. and only niece.. he has no kids.. needless to say im sticking with him.

::no gun, just a new knife, "it would be too hard for me to get bullets" grr::

before the other day when i saw my dad, i actually had a fun day at the mall thanks to pete.. lost some of my purses' contents but i got my cell phone back.. its better if you dont ask..

and um yeah.. thats about it really.. oh, we will be getting the gym and i will be running it.. getting my own business at the age of 18.. fun. lets hope all the paperwork goes through.

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YO JOE [09 May 2006|01:07am]
[ mood | chipper ]

thanks to Pete ive been watching GI Joe auctions on ebay, and dare i say, GI Joes are fucking awesome.. especially these certain dudes he likes.. i almost want to keep them for myself.. but that would be mean, not to mention i wouldnt get anything in return for the money ive spent getting them for him.

LAN party this past weekend was fun.. Matt showed up a tad after Mike left and made me laugh my ass off as usual, especially when i went to wawa with him. Bill was there (YAY BILL)and brought CAKE, so everything was awesome.

i got all my old friends screen names back earlier today, so thats cool. LIZ, im going to see my dad in a few days, after i see him ill swing by your place :3

and for people who look for me on AIM youve known ive been away a lot. well ive been sleeping upstairs because my rooms been hot and messy (everything was thrown onto my bed so i could clean clean) but since im almost done and my rooms cooling off, ill be online more often soon.

LICENSE ON THE 16TH.. WOOO... ill be able to drive alone.. awesome

lucille is thinking about buying the gym i work at.. if she does, ill get about $210 a week.. cant wait to see what happens..

and yeah, thats about it.. later all.

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comming around again [16 Mar 2006|04:16pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

i havent been doing much online type stuff lately.. i just havent wanted to talk to people.. but its odd that lastnight when i got on AIM for 3 minutes my friend Pete messaged me.. we stopped talking about .. iunno.. a month or two months ago.. but now were cool.

yeah, this friday is gonna be nuts.. i havent been out for real fun in weeks..
im also gonna have to talk to some people on friday and set em straight as to my feelings in relationships and what not...


oh yes.. and i might as well post it here too...

im thinking about buying These after my birthday... if you follow the link youll see that theyre sclera contacts

ive been thinking about this for about a year and a half now..

i have never worn contacts, much less sclera ones, but i will be going to an optometrist to get my eye measured (weird eh?) and to maybe get a pair of normal contacts to get my eyes used to something in em..

i wont be wearing them all the time so i dont think ill get percription ones and my eyes might change and then ill never be able to wear prescription $300 lenses.. not cool.. but i would probably try to wear them as much as i can in public.. i know, weird, but ive seriously been thinking about this and now with the way my hair is i might really go for it.. eyes matching hair AND being weird is kinda interesting to me.

my questions are
am i crazy?

should i wait more than 6 months to think about it EVEN more about em?

do you think it would scare too many people?

ill be waiting for feedback and insults

ill be waiting around in the rafters.

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